A Love Letter

Dear Instagram and Hashtag,

Our relationship started simple with just another social media app. I posted the occasional picture and the exact same people from Facebook would comment. It was really totally pointless.

Then I discovered the world of hashtags (yes I am one of those people). What I discovered was the power of #fostercare. Yes, that one thing would change my life (not exaggerating). #fostercare introduced me to my new family of foster parents.

My new Instagram foster family spans North America (ok just U.S. and Canada) and is made up of the greatest women. Most of us have never and will never know each other in real life (although we would love to change that), but our bond is real. We are in the trenches fighting for these children. Children that have had to suffer for whatever reason. Children that others have turned their backs on.

We celebrate each others successes, pray for each others needs, and cry with each other at our defeats. We are able to be open and honest with each other and relate in a way that only another foster parent can understand.

Today I want to say thank you Instagram and thank you stupid hashtags. I thought I was a bit too old and silly for both of you and boy was I wrong. You helped me find my people... my #fostercarecrew.

Love,
rhenderson09

Life Will Never Be the Same...

Today marks a week since I have become a momma!

For those who don't already know, within hours of being added to the placement list, Mark and I became parents. It is the most amazing feeling. I always knew I wanted to be a momma, but I never realized how great it would be.

Since we received our first placement, my views on what will and won't get shared has changed significantly. Where I am at right now is that, I just don't know what I can and should share. My number one priority is protecting this miracle baby. That being said, I do want to continue to post to the blog and share our experience. If nothing else, I just want to share this process and how amazing it is in hopes that I covert some of you do be foster mommies and daddies.

So I am going to be in touch with my licensing worker and review my thoughts and feelings on the issue. I will definitely be back in some form, I just want to be able to share with you but in a way that protects this baby.


P.S. He is a newborn baby boy. :)

LICENSED FOSTER PARENTS!!!

From my less than cryptic message you may have guessed that we are officially LICENSED FOSTER PARENTS!!!

 

This morning we are filling out our final paperwork and then we go on the list to accept children. It is absolutely crazy!

 

We have been running around like chickens with our heads cut off. We are told to expect a placement VERY soon, but we have been told similar things before. Something makes me think that the states definition of soon varies from mine. All I know is to expect the unexpected....

Pin-tober Died

So I am crunched for time and I will make this short. Pin-tober lasted a whole day before it got cancelled. Why? Because we got word from our licensing worker that our file is being reviewed and we are literally expecting a call for licensing any minute!!! So as much as I LOVE Pinterest, my need to be prepared for babies wins. :) Hopefully I am back soon with pictures! :)

Collecting dust

As of this week, I got word that AZ currently has 53 babies in a shelter because they don't have foster homes for them to go to. What breaks my heart is knowing that and having this view from my hallway...

Killing Time...

I have been absolutely dreadful at keeping up with this blog at all. Not to make excuses, but without being licensed for kiddo's we are painfully boring. This weekend for example I cleaned and hung around the house on Saturday and watched football on Sunday. I know, I should have warned you with news that exciting.

We do actually have a few updates since we last spoke. First off, we were submitted to the OLCR for licensing 8/30! That is great news because as soon as that is done we are officially licensed foster parents and will have a child shortly. They are averaging anywhere from 2-6 weeks. I am hearing more of the 6+ week range, but every once and awhile someone will have a random quicker process.

Secondly, we have made a big decision in regards to our foster babies. After an insane amount of research and discussion, we have made the decision to go cloth... as in cloth diapers! I NEVER imagined myself using cloth diapers, but alas I am.

My reasoning's for cloth diapering are:

1. The price. Yes I have had to invest a bit up front (yes, I bought some already and so I will share that with you below), but nothing horrible. I have made the choice to go with used diapers. I am extremely picky about the condition they come in, but I have been able to save a TON by going this route. For example, I purchased 24 one size pocket diapers, 24 microfiber inserts, 12 bamboo inserts, and 1 large wet bag for $70.00! The best part was that only 4 of these diapers were ever even used! These were from a fellow foster momma and so she gave me a smoking deal! I currently have 30 one size pocket diapers and have spent only $130 (including shipping).

2. They are gentler on babies behind than real diapers. Foster babies have a higher likelihood of coming to me with some not so pleasant diaper rash. These diapers will be nice and soft on those raw behinds.

3. Convenience. People laugh at me when I say this because they are like, "you think washing them every 2-3 days is convenient?!?". Well yes, I do. I think it is more convenient than having to have a range of diapers on hand for any age child we get, and running to the store weekly (or more) to buy more diapers. I think it is more convenient than getting up at 3 am when we get a call for a baby and needing to run to the store to buy diapers. I can handle washing my diapers every 2-3 days and having them on hand and ready to go instead of always having to run to the store to pick up diapers.

4. They are CUTE!!! I am that person that is totally a sucker for something cute. These diapers are just about the most adorable thing ever. They come in almost any color imaginable and a whole slew of prints. Even just a plain white diaper is still cuter than a disposable for me!

These particular diapers are Sun Baby. If you would like a full review on them once I start using them, let me know. I also purchased some Fuzzibunz, so let me know if you want to know about those too. 

Waiting is hard...

So I haven't posted anything in awhile and it is not only because I am lazy, but honestly I have nothing new for you. We are still just waiting for home study to be completed so that we can hurry up and wait on the OLCR to approve our license. We realistically have another 4-6 weeks. It is just hard because as one point we were told we had just a couple weeks if not days. I guess the phrase "expect the unexpected" is our new mantra.

How darling is this! If things work out this will be in our nursery!

We do have a small piece of news that I have debated on sharing, but finally decided we should. We heard about a little man that is in need of a set of adoptive parents and Mark and I are actually being considered! I know that doesn't sound like a little piece of news, but honestly, I am just trying to not get my hopes up. His name is baby A (obviously not his real name, but for privacy reasons it is A). Last I heard he is about 7-8 months. Mark and I have meet him before and just fell in love, but that was awhile ago.

A lot needs to happen for this to work out, and honestly the chances are larger that it won't work out vs. working out, but it is still something we are praying hard for! Most of all, I just want this little man to find an amazing home whether that is us, or another family. So if you could PLEASE be praying for us and for baby A, it would be appreciated.

I will update when I know more!

** UPDATE on baby A 9/9/2013**

The agency that has baby A currently has said they would prefer to keep him with the agency and adopt him out to one of their families. We are not with there agency currently so unfortunately, we aren't going to be able to adopt him, :(

It's the final countdown...

So we had our home study/ interview with our licensing worker. I am not going to lie, it was rough. It was 3 1/2 hours of straight questioning with no breaks. It wasn't easy questions like your name and favorite color. These were in depth short answer questions regarding childhood, parenting style, and discipline. These are all things Mark and I have talked extensively about, but they just are so difficult to explain and put into words in an interview format. When the experience is over I was completely mentally exhausted. It was also a lot of heavy material so it wasn't probably the joyous moment it should have been.

All and all though, we survived and it is now done. We should be hearing the results in the next week or so. From that point we will find out if they are requesting additional tasks be completed or if we are finally going to be submitted to OLCR for final approval and licensing. Once the OLCR received it, who knows what could happen.

The biggest frustration we have at this point is absolutely the lack of any sort of expected timeline. We are just sitting and waiting. We have a completed nursery that just sits empty while so many children are in need of a home...

Foster Shower Pt 3 (The Last, I Promise)

So I know you are so sad, but this is the last and final installment of the foster shower! Yes I know I dragged this out for a ridiculous amount of time, but really don't rain on my parade! 

So this is all about the items that we bought using our gift cards from the shower. It was items we didn't get, but still needed/ wanted. Luckily we had a lot of people give us gift cards and so we were really able to get a lot of items and saved ourselves a TON of money. 

So after my big post about the car seat we had registered for, I ended up getting a totally different seat. You see this one was awesome and on clearance and yea...

See how nice and gender neutral the pattern is.

Here is the pack and play. Again, not what we originally registered for. Really I cannot resist a Target clearance section.

Fun little lion on the pack and play.

This little item is again one of my favorites for the baby room. Honestly, I kind of want one for our room. It is a sound machine and projector in one. It has 3 different discs for projecting on the wall and 6 different sounds! Until the kids arrive, it may find itself in our room.

Now I know that pacifiers are really an item that varies from baby to baby, but I couldn't pass these babies up. Too cute. Plus whether our child is a boy or girl, they will like football...

Well there you go. A summary of everything. Now clearly I didn't include every item we got or every gift we received in this post, but you can get a good idea of what we got. This was just intended to share with those of you who couldn't be there. 

If you saw anything you want a review on or opinions on, please let me know. 

Foster Shower Pt 2

As promised, here is the second installment of the foster shower. This will be covering the items we received as gifts from our amazingly generous friends and family. 

This drying rack is actually Mark's number one requested item on the registry. He saw it and thought it was the coolest thing ever. The branch and flower accessories for hanging items on make it even more fun. So much more appealing than a traditional drying rack on the counter.

This activity table was one of the awesome gifts my sister got for us. It is great for sitting or standing because the legs are easily removed. 

This has to be one of my absolute favorite gifts from my sister. The Ergo baby carrier was actually not on my registry, but I had my eye on it for some time. Using a baby carrier is a priority to me so having a quality carrier is going to make things so much easier. 

Now I know I am clearly not going to be breast feeding my foster kiddos, but I am a huge fan of the Boppy pillow! They are great for those kiddos that are just learning to sit up and even for tummy time!

World's softest blanket. Hands down!!!

I saw this and fell in love with it. The kiddos are going to need a security blanket type item. I thought this was perfect because it is a blanket and stuffed animal in one (similar). Now I should probably invest in multiple of these to send with the kiddos when they return home.

Now I didn't actually receive this at the shower, but my bosses daughter had given it to me to use. It is a video baby monitor. We have just played around with this a bit, but so far, I love it! 

Just a sample of a few of my favorite boys clothing items from the shower!

Same with a few of the favorite girls items!

The most common gift of the shower BOOKS! This bin is completely full of books along with several shelves full of books. I joked that our kids would be reading to us by the time they were 2! 

So this is another favorite from the shower. I saw this diaper bag and fell in LOVE! My co-workers went in and bought this for me. This silly little bag brought me SO much joy!

So now you know more about my gifts from my shower than you ever wanted to know! I am sure you will sleep better at night seeing what I got. I am sure you are holding your breath in anticipation for part 3... the spending of the gift cards. ;)

Foster Shower Part 1

After weeks of anticipation, I have finally had our foster parent shower! Let me start by saying my friends Lauren and Erin (the hosts) did an amazing job and I am overwhelmingly grateful for them stepping up and hosting this for me. I actually even cried at my shower when I was thanking them for hosting. It was very embarrassing.

Because I have so much to cover I am going to break this down into three parts. The first part is going to be the actual shower itself. It will tell you about the theme, the decor, and all the activities. The second will be the gifts. The third and final will be how we spent our gift cards.

Saturday was an absolutely wonderful day for me. I got to sleep in a bit. Slowly get up, straighten up the house a bit, and relax. It was a very un-rushed morning which is exactly what I needed with all the excitement that was soon to be coming my way.

Once my Mom and Dad came in from Las Vegas I took the chance to show them the nursery and some of the things we had accumulated already. Then Mark and my Dad were off to the Arizona Cardinals pre-season training while my Mom and I went to the quilt store. My mother is a very talented quilter and I had a couple projects I wanted her to make that we needed fabric for. After a successful fabric store run, we were off to the shower.

I am not even kidding when I say I walked in and was blown away. The little details they had put into the shower were amazing! It was themed after a book called A Blessing From Above.

Here is Amazon's description:

 Every night before she goes to sleep, a kangaroo prays under the stars for a baby to love and hold. One day, as she rests under a tree, a baby bird falls out of its crowded nest—plop!—right into her pouch!

Can you think of a better theme for a foster/ adoption shower? I swear those girls should go into the business of party planning. It was beautiful! They even created a hash tag that everyone could link there pictures to from the shower. They really thought of everything. One look at the pictures and you will see.

**Note: I am a total genius and forgot my camera so these photo's are all taken with my cell phone camera. I just knew you were going to ask about my amazing photography skills!

These were on the dessert table.

How adorable is this sign?

The beverage table.

Just a view of some of the guests during game time.

So this does a horrible job of showing the worlds most adorable sugar cookies that my sister in-law got for the shower. They were an assortment of birds, bird houses, and this cookie in the center of the platter. 

Ok so this is not the most flattering picture of me or Mark, but at least you can kinda see our amazingly awesome and cheesy foster care shirts! While Mark didn't attend the shower, he did show up after the fact in this. :)

If and when some "real" pictures show up from the shower that were not taken on a camera, I will be sure to add some of those. For now, enjoy these beauties. I know, I know, I really should look into photography as a career choice. 

Glitter Eye Liner and Cupcakes for Breakfast

So I know I promised pictures and all kinds of fun stuff from my foster shower on Saturday, but you can wait one more day. Why?

 Because today is my BIRTHDAY!

Yes, I am one of those obnoxious people who makes sure EVERYONE knows it is my birthday and celebrates for almost the entire month.

So today I am not going to worry about getting the post about the shower together. Instead, I am wearing my gold glitter eyeliner for work (which is definitely more of an evening look, but I like it)and eating cupcakes for breakfast! See you tomorrow.

Update

UPDATE: I will start with the update because lets face it, foster care is the point of this blog, not all the other random thoughts that go through my head.

We got a call today and we officially have our first licensing interview scheduled! This will take place August 1st and will last approximately 3-4 hours. Yikers!!! I cannot imagine an interview lasting that long. Besides, what on earth do we have 3-4 hours worth to talk about. I feel like we have answered every single question we possibly could.

The good news is that I really like our licensing worker. I am going to refer to her as L for privacy reasons. She seems very nice and it sounds like we are going to get along great. I think as much as it can get annoying at times, she appreciates my over prepared and on top of things attitude about everything.

The bad news is that after L comes out and completes her home study and submit it, we are looking at 4-8 weeks because of how backed up the Office of Licensing, Certification, and Regulation (OLCR) is. The is depressing because I thought we had days, until we got a kiddo. Boy was I wrong!

In other news, my FOSTER SHOWER is tomorrow!!! That is right folks, just one more sleeps. I am so incredibly excited! I cannot wait to share pictures of the event, and then a haul of all the things I got and all the things I bought with my gift cards (I already have a few from guests that couldn't make it).

The great debate...

To keep me from going absolutely insane while waiting for "the call", we have been slowly but surely putting the nursery together. It started because we realized things were moving much quicker than we anticipated, but then I got a little over excited and now, the nursery is practically completely finished.

 

One thing that we went back and forth on and couldn't decide was whether or not to have a glider or rocker in the nursery. Yes, it is was really a big debate that spanned several days. Ok, who am I kidding! It was really just me talking in circles to myself with Mark standing in the room. Don't get me wrong, Mark is very involved and is always helpful with opinions when I need them. He just didn't think this was as big of a decision than I did (nor does anyone else I assume).

 

Let me explain, I know a glider or rocker is great for those late nights of trying to get baby back to sleep. Plus they are super comfy. My issue is that every single nursery I see looks adorable with them, but once that adorable little baby grows up to a toddler, they are rarely used. Then inevitably they go to live in the garage until they are sold in a garage sale or given to a friend. I wanted something that I would use for much longer.

 

So I found a solution!



 

 This is our new nursery chair (we got the matching ottoman too). Now yes, I realize this doesn't have the rocking motion that a glider and rocker offer, but it does still provide an incredibly comfy place to kick up our feet and sit and cuddle/read to our little one. Plus with the neutral color and classic design, this piece can easily transition from the nursery to any other room of the house. I am thrilled with it and it is SO comfy that it is already Mark and I's favorite spot in the house.



Nursery Decor

For the nursery, I was really on a mission to support other foster parents of charities for children in any way possible. This ended up being a lot more difficult than I expected. Well via the wonderful world of hash tags on Instagram, I found a wonderful community of fellow foster parents. One of which was this wonderful lady. Now I do not know this woman other than Instagram, and I am no way being paid, sponsored, or anything else to post this, but I absolutely loved reading about her story and supporting her in any way possible. 

This amazing lady is a foster mommy who is on a mission to adopt a little girl from girl that she fell in love with while traveling abroad. She has come to be known as little E. Now I don't know much about her (like I said I am a crazy stalker lady), but I totally support the cause. For that reason I was all over purchasing these printables for the nursery walls when I found them in her Etsy shop!

Please excuse these absolutely horrible pictures! It was late and I just grabbed my camera and started shooting. It wasn't pretty! I promise you though, they look amazing! I am so happy with them.

Here is a little peak at our whole arrangement on the wall. Yes I didn't use a level or even attempt to hang the frames straight. I suck... I know!

Just imagine being up late at night with a fussy potentially drug exposed baby and looking up to see these reminders of God's love. I can't imagine anything more encouraging! Add some of my own DIY nursery animals and BAM... perfect nursery wall art. 

Waiting Game

So at this point, Mark and I have been assigned a licensing worker. What this means is that we have completed everything with our agency. Being assigned a licensing worker is the final step before being officially licensed and ready to accept a placement.

The bad news is that we are now just waiting on the system which is at best unpredictable. We could be looking at days or weeks. We just don't know. This is frustrating because I am a total planner. I am climbing up the walls in anticipation!

To help pass the time, my amazing friends Lauren and Erin have thrown me a foster shower! The shower will be this Saturday and I am unbelievably excited. Once we found out that we would likely not ever have our own biological children, I thought I lost the chance to ever have a baby shower. Thanks to my amazing friends, I still get to have one.

We have registered for gifts here, but we decided to also do something different. We encouraged our friends and family to use this registry as just a guide for finding gently used items as well. This way they have options for both new or used items. The response thus far has been positive. I still realize that because we are going to be licensed for such a range (newborn-2), gift giving is difficult, so gift cards will likely be the gift of choice for most. I think this is great because once we do have a need for an item, we will have gift cards to help us with those purchases.

This is one item we have an immediate need for. Like, I will run out and purchase the day of the shower if I don't get it. We have had two friends either sell or donate old infant car seats to us, but this would be much more versatile. Plus, the price is right. Anyone used this model? Thoughts?

What are we going to do with all of this stuff if we can't or don't end up using it (wrong size, too old and/or young)? I am so glad you asked... even if you didn't really. Well if it is new and we have gift receipts, obviously return it for something we can use, but if it used, we plan to donate it. There are several organizations for foster children that would benefit greatly from these donations! We foster families gotta stick together!

Henderson Babymoon

 

For those of you who don’t know, a babymoon is a final getaway for first time parents before kids come. This is typically for pregnant momma’s of course, but Mark and I figured why shouldn’t we have a getaway too?

 

We packed up our truck and our dogs and hit the road for my families cabin in the mountains. Along with a 50 degree temperature drop, we got fresh air, relaxation, and lots of quad riding. It was exactly what Mark and I needed before having our world turned completely upside down!

 

You can check out the whole trip on my instagram account under.

 

 

I am normally not the outdoorsy type, but this was too good to pass up. This was me crawling down into the ice caves! It was something really cool that I hadn't ever seen before. Mark claimed he stayed behind to take pictures, but I think he really was a tiny bit scared. 

 

We even splurged and made the decision to buy quads this weekend! We just bought two of my families old quads, but we love them! Mark is all about the outdoors and jumped at the opportunity to buy anything that would get him off roading.  

 

 

Look at that smile!

 

 

 

Life Safety Inspection

The life safety inspection is when an inspector from the state comes into our home and inspects it according to a list of guidelines we have been given. These guidelines are lengthy and very exact. I have had a lot of anxiety about this inspection. In fact, I have been dreading it since we first found out we had to have one.

Prepping for this inspection has been not only time consuming, but costly. Several nights were spent up late cleaning, organizing, and prepping.

The biggest and most expensive task we had was securing all of our fire arms. Now don't get me wrong, we would have had our guns locked up if we were having our own children as well. We would have simply put them into our gun safe though. For foster care, this is not acceptable.

 

I have a thyroid condition. Because of this condition, I have to take medication daily. Imagine my excitement when I found out that my medication (prescription, over the counter, and vitamins), must be kept under lock and key at all times.

 



 

 

All of the stress was worth it in the end because we PASSED!!!

What this means now is that we are in the home stretch. We are waiting on Mark's fingerprint card to arrive and a final meeting with our licensing worker. After that, paperwork is submitted to the state for final approval. I can almost smell those dirty diapers now. :)

Getting Ready

Being foster parents, you have to get your house ready differently then “normal” parents would when they are expecting a baby. That is what has been happening this week in the Henderson household. A large portion of the week has been spent purchasing and scheduling various things.
So far this week we have purchased a full size commercial fire extinguisher, trigger locks for our guns, locking ammo boxes, a locking cabinet for all of my cleaning supplies, and a locking tackle box to store all medication (including over the counter). What, the state didn’t make you do those things before you brought home your baby?
Another thing we had this week was scheduling our First Aid and CPR class, our class on administering medication to children, and our medically frail class for children 2 and under. These are all classes we need in addition to the 30 hours of classes we have already taken.
As a reward for all of this hard work I allowed us to buy a little something for the nursery.

Nothing makes the idea of welcoming a child into your home more real than buying a crib!

Welcome

Hi there! For those of you who don’t know, my name is Renee and my husband is Mark. We are soon to be foster parents! While there are many ways to build a family, we have chosen to do that through foster care.

 

I have created this site to share with you our story of not only being foster parents, but being first time parents in a very nontraditional way. Whether you are a friend, family member, or a random stranger, welcome!