Top 5 Things Anout Foster Care

One of the most common things I get asked by people who are looking at possibly becoming foster parents is how to you prepare for something like that. Long story short, you don't. No matter how many books you read or how many training classes you take, you will never be able to completely prepare yourself for foster care. 

That being said, I think there are things you can keep in mind to help get you in being ready for this crazy train. 

1. Have a strong marriage. 

Having a baby is not a way to solve any marriage problems. Starting foster care will absolutely not solve any marriage problems. Foster care will actually shine a bright light on any weakness (and strength) you have in your marriage. Don't even consider doing foster care if you and your spouse are not 100%.

2. You will get attached.

My absolute least favorite thing of all time is when I get asked, "How do you do it? I would get attached". REALLY? Of course you get attached and honestly, these kids deserve someone who is attached to them. I have yet to meet a foster parent that could not be 100% attached to their child no matter what the situation. 

The first week we had A I lost nearly 10 pounds because I was terrified that every single call was going to be someone calling to take him away. If they had, I would have been devastated. The reality is, they still could call today and take my baby away. I would be an absolute wreck. I can't even begin to imagine that. Am I going to not love him completely though, no. 

Unfortunately, heart ache comes with the job of being a foster mom.

3. People won't understand.

Even my most supportive friends and family just don't get it. No matter how many times i explain the process or explain why we are doing this, they don't get it. That is ok though. Until you have walked this road, I don't think you can get it. 

For this reason, find yourself other foster parents for support. They don't have to be people you know, or even local. I have mentioned before, my biggest support comes from a group of ladies I found on Instagram. It is approximately 30 of us and not a single one lives within 500 miles of me.  We are able to be open and honest with each other. It is an amazing relationship I hope lasts for years to come.

4. These kids are not like normal kids (in some ways).

Let me preface this by saying, these kids are normal kids who just need love and a safe place, BUT they have also been through things that most other children have not. This can leave marks physically and emotionally. Be prepared for that. 

With A, we got him as an infant so emotionally we didn't have as many issues, but physically our little man was a mess. He was sick, a LOT! I quickly used up all of my sick days and vacation days. Thankfully, it was never anything life threatening. We have made great relationships with his pediatricians office though and have even started ranking our local hospitals by which we prefer. Hopefully, this is not the norm for most 6 month old babies.

5. Be warned, you will want more.

If you go into foster care saying you hope to adopt 1 child, expect to adopt 3. I joke, but I am serious. Mark and I originally wanted to get in and out per say. We wanted to foster until we were able to adopt and then be done with it. We say it as a means to an end to build our family. Boy were we stupid.

These kids and their stories will change your life. You will love this crazy ride. Don't get me wrong, you will hate it at times. You will wake up some days and ask yourself why am I doing this. Then that story comes on that news that breaks your heart and you hear the child is in custody of Child Protective Services and you know, what you are doing is making a difference. 

With that being said, Mark and I would like to officially announce we are opening our home in May to a second foster child. We are going on the placement list for a child 1-3 years old. Yes we are crazy, but who ever had any fun being sane?

Life Will Never Be the Same...

Today marks a week since I have become a momma!

For those who don't already know, within hours of being added to the placement list, Mark and I became parents. It is the most amazing feeling. I always knew I wanted to be a momma, but I never realized how great it would be.

Since we received our first placement, my views on what will and won't get shared has changed significantly. Where I am at right now is that, I just don't know what I can and should share. My number one priority is protecting this miracle baby. That being said, I do want to continue to post to the blog and share our experience. If nothing else, I just want to share this process and how amazing it is in hopes that I covert some of you do be foster mommies and daddies.

So I am going to be in touch with my licensing worker and review my thoughts and feelings on the issue. I will definitely be back in some form, I just want to be able to share with you but in a way that protects this baby.


P.S. He is a newborn baby boy. :)

LICENSED FOSTER PARENTS!!!

From my less than cryptic message you may have guessed that we are officially LICENSED FOSTER PARENTS!!!

 

This morning we are filling out our final paperwork and then we go on the list to accept children. It is absolutely crazy!

 

We have been running around like chickens with our heads cut off. We are told to expect a placement VERY soon, but we have been told similar things before. Something makes me think that the states definition of soon varies from mine. All I know is to expect the unexpected....

Pin-tober Died

So I am crunched for time and I will make this short. Pin-tober lasted a whole day before it got cancelled. Why? Because we got word from our licensing worker that our file is being reviewed and we are literally expecting a call for licensing any minute!!! So as much as I LOVE Pinterest, my need to be prepared for babies wins. :) Hopefully I am back soon with pictures! :)

Announcement

As some of you may or may not know, in addition to being a future foster mommy, I work outside the home. I work for a small credit union and I truly do love it. I have worked there for just over 4 years now.
On top of working outside the home, my work encouraged me to return to school and get my degree. I already had an associates degree and some work towards my bachelors degree, but had yet to finish my degree. So I started that and will be graduating next fall.
As you can imagine, working full time, going to school full time, and being a foster mommy in training is a lot! My days and nights are spent on the computer. I know it will be worth it, but it is exhausting.
Well some of my hard work has paid off because as of yesterday afternoon officially, I have accepted a promotion! It is a pretty good jump from where I was at and so I am very excited about this. It isn't my goal job ( I don't say dream job because my dream job is at home with kids, but that isn't going to happen from an insurance stand point), but it is a step along the way.